Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Raising The Man

Going through the moving process is stressful.  Duh.  We've been stressing for months and I've already had the "I don't want to"  moments and I'm all cried out.  Now it's the time for me to hold everyone else up as we process the reality that is our military life.  We are about to move, again.

The eldest kiddo had a break down yesterday as his "holy crap, this move is real" moment happened.  He is going to miss his friends terribly and is nervous about making new ones.  Enter the rock!  As I held on to this little man, I let him get the cries out because he NEVER cries.  He needed to release the loss.  He needed to know that it is okay to feel like this and that it is completely normal. 

Boys are tricky creatures at this age.  He so badly wants to be older and bigger.  He wants to be strong and tough like his father, but the inside of him remains a little mushy and sweet.  It is as if he understands that the little boy portion of himself is clinging desperately to today; while the man portion steps forward with each passing moment.  It is truly a precious time in his life and I'm proud that he knows that we are here to support him. 

This kid has always been the one who, "already knows".  A friend of mine once called him a 30 year old trapped in a little kid's body.  He's aware of things that are beyond his years and has an old soul.  He's about to leave Elementary School and these next few years are enormous in the development of the man he'll choose to be in his future life.  I like this kid.  Sure he belongs to me, but he's hilarious and I actually like hanging out with him because he is extremely likeable. 

He will be a stronger person because we are moving.  I don't want to sound silly in saying I like to challenge my kids, but I really do.  Strength is not something that just appears.  Overcoming obstacles in your life is the way you learn and grow to be a better human being.  We are not coddlers in this family, but instead are a gentle support system to assist in jumping the hurtles to happiness that inevitably arise in our life's paths.

Raising kids is like writing a book in which you won't get to choose the ending.  You can only do what you can to write the best characters possible.  Characters that are rich and interesting.  Characters that are complex and caring.  Characters that will make good choices, despite the temptation to make bad ones.  Characters that are shown the values that make people successful at life.  Characters that never stop seeking happiness.  Characters that use their powers for good.

I am not a parenting expert.  Anyone who tells you they are is full of it because there is no single formula that applies to all children.  Children are individuals with little minds of their own.  They haven't figured themselves out yet, so how could we possibly expect to know all of the answers for them?  We don't.  The best we can do is listen and love them.  The best we can do is hope that our influence is stronger than anyone else's.  This new adventure is but a small blip in this boy's future life.  Our plan is to help him to enjoy the ride.


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