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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Imagine If Mom Quit

My kids hated this letter, but I wrote it to them to make a point.  Obviously I would never quit my kids.  They are my world and that's part of the problem.  They are spoiled by my unending affection and devotion.  Maybe a little reality will bite them and they will remember that I'm a human too.
Dear Children, 
Due to recent events, I regret to inform you that I am submitting my letter of resignation.  My current state of mind (insanity, frustration, exhaustion) will no longer allow me to continue in my line of work.  Please consider this my official two week notice.

As my unappreciative wardens you understand, due to your lack of respect, the situation in which I find myself.  There will be no more dinners lovingly prepared by yours truly.  Your laundry will go unwashed.  Feel free to throw whatever you want on the floors of your rooms because I will no longer be monitoring them.  School?  Do whatever you want.  If you fail, YOU fail.  I've already done my time as a student.  

The dog will be coming with me.  He deserves attention and I fear that he won't get it at this house without me.  Plus, the constant love and affection from the fur baby surpasses the appreciation from my natural offspring lately.  The dog listens and does what he's told and he hardly ever makes a mess.

When your shoes no longer fit, find someone else to buy new ones.  If you find a replacement Mom (good luck with that), have her call me so that I can warn her about the bathrooms.  Please let your Dad know that this is no reflection on him.  He's the best husband a wife could ever have.

When you feel sad, I suppose you'll have to suck it up, or go find a cheerleader.  Perhaps she'll try to push you toward victory as hard as I've tried.  Mostly what I always wanted was for you to push yourselves.

When you need a ride to one of your sporting events, there is the number of a taxi service on my desk.  You may need to start a paper route or some other means of income because the service costs money.  Oh and because I'm no longer going to be around to watch you, your Dad will likely have to save money in some places so say goodbye to your electronics.  It's great you appreciated them while you could.

I look forward to finally following my own path and letting my own dreams come true.  The frame that I've provided for you the past ten years was no doubt great for you.  Now this woman I once knew is coming back in to focus and she's going to rock her new job.  She will get an actual paycheck!  She will get appreciation for her hard work!  She will have time to work out again and find the figure that she's lost caring for you people. 

I wish you all the best.  I love you with all of my heart.  Hopefully what I've taught you so far will be the voice in your head.  Good luck in your future endeavors.
*As I let you read this and you said that you reject my resignation, I will stay if we can turn this around to the tower of success and love I want it to be.  You are very wonderful children and I know that you love an appreciate me.  What do you want for dinner?

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