16 Ways My Life Is Nothing Like House Of Cards

House Of Cards is a show that can be compared to some heavily addictive substance.  Viewers anticipated its third season with total excitement as if the streaming was the start of Christmas!  The characters are incredibly well written with rich and shocking plot lines weaving through their complicated political lives.  Once you start watching, you cannot possibly stop because you simply don't want to.
Though I get completely and totally lost in each and every episode, I started thinking today how very different my life is from the twisty world of Claire Underwood.  My life is not suspenseful, thrilling, or filled with intrigue.  Here are the ways my life is nothing like House of Cards.

1.  Geography.  D.C. is fancy.  Houma is not.
2.  Family.  Francis and Claire have each other, but even that is questionable.  I have a loving family.
3.  Elegance.  The way the characters speak to one another, their surroundings, and the way they move is pure elegance.  The way Claire holds her hands is just one small example.  Elegance doesn't really exist in my world.  I wish that I could move with grace like Claire.  Instead I look like a shlumpy, hot mess hoping to fit a run in throughout the day.
4.  Trust.  No one in House of Cards is trustworthy.  In my world, I only accept those who are trustworthy.  Maybe we're not all that different here.  The Underwoods don't allow anyone in at all.  I am just very choosy and I don't hold things over people as leverage.
5.  Power.  I have power over nothing, but myself.  The kids will for the most part listen and behave, but in the long run, I have no power.
6.  I get dirty.  Being outside is like a happy pill for me and mine.  Most of the House Of Cards crew spend their time indoors.  Claire might run outside, but only when she's followed by a million man safety net.
7.  Do I have my own plane?
8.  There is no Doug Stamper on clean up detail here in this little world.  I would like to be as tough as Stamper is though.  He's so very smart.  He got a bit scary in Season 3. 
9.  I would hate living in the White House.  What if you had to fart?  You know somebody is always listening.
10.  The characters NEVER relax.  We live a pretty balanced life between working hard and playing hard down here in the Bayou.  
11.  Claire always wears high heels.  I own high heels that are collecting dust in my closet.
12.  There are actual snakes in Louisiana.  In HoC the snakes are all wearing suits.  The shocking decisions that they make really have me wondering if my real vote even matters.
13.  Secrets are the life blood of HoC.  My secrets are simply embarrassing stories that I don't want to relive.  All of my skeletons left my closet a long time ago.  
14.  The very Ferris Bueller-esque, straight to the camera talk Francis has going on only occurs inside my head.  Though I think it'd be hilarious if others could hear my inner monologue.
15.  Never will I be as cool as Kevin Spacey.  Nobody is. 16.  Claire's outfits are delivered by designers.  Mine are from the GAP or Target.  I'd likely look a little ridiculous showing up anywhere around here in one of those gorgeous dresses.
I'm thrilled that my world is not like HoC.  How much work it must be to constantly make people believe that you are what you appear.  Living my authentic life is so much more fun than the world of Claire and Frank Underwood.  Fortunately, I can immerse myself completely into their world for entertainment.  That's the beauty of this excellent show.  Thanks Netflix for sharing this world with us.  Now I'll go back to mine.
<Thanks for wikipedia.com for the borrowed image of Claire>