Last week's episode had Beverly depressed that her children wouldn't want her to live with them after they flew from her well watched nest. Her kids are her whole world. Attempts to keep them safe and her loss of their love is almost pitiful to watch, but I can relate. My kids are getting older too fast.
They are still young enough for me to enjoy their fleeting childhood. Glimpses of what my future holds are beginning to scare me to my core. When the realm of the teenager looms in my mind's eye; there is doomsday music playing.
Then the "what ifs" start to roll around in my head. What if they are rude to me? What if they are rude to other people? What if their choices make life miserable for all of us? What if all of the work I have put into attempting to make them good citizens and caring people was a precious waste of time? What if they lie to me? What if they don't care that I have sacrificed all of my potential for them? What if eye rolls replace deeply thought out questions on life? Oh Beverly, I feel your pain.
No doubt my kids will look at my attire and picture me like Beverly in awful sweaters and crazy Aqua Net hair. In the near future, I will be more embarrassing to them than anything else. Soon my mere presence will irritate them. They will make mistakes and messes that will require a clean up crew.
Maybe I'll become more like Murray Goldberg when they get older and take to calling them "morons". It's doubtful though because I'm more like the "smother" who wants her kids to feel loved. Thankfully the drama from the show is quite unlike my reality. While I love my kids more than I can express, my future without them isn't as dreary as Beverly imagines hers.
In the spirit of a true optimist's perspective, it is time to imagine being the "un" Beverly. Assuming my kids eventually take their education seriously and they head off to college, my days will be filled quite easily. I will get my boyfriend back! He's here at my side, of course, but he doesn't get nearly enough of my attention. My imagination takes us on new hikes across the country. My home will always be clean and organized. The volunteer work or a job with purpose that I always want to have time for will finally become realistic. My mile long "on deck" book list will be read. Visits to the kids' colleges will be fun. The positive ways to spend my time are endless.
Kids are great, no doubt. It is doubtful though that there will be a breakdown when the 900 reminders I dish out per day, disappear. The truth is I look forward to a little bit more independence for my kiddos. The job of teaching them to handle their life is literally an 18 year course!
For now though, we'll continue to play hide-and-seek and laugh at the minions together. We'll flourish in the twilight of my son's little kid years. My daughter's victories over her own fears are the fancy wrapping for the gifts of motherhood. In no way are these precious years wished away. Being mindful of our present journey doesn't mean that there isn't beautiful scenery up ahead.
>Photo borrowed from EW
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