Leaving a team is never easy. The last one I left was in college and that was inevitable. You can't live in that space forever or your liver might fall out. Leaving my soccer team, South Riding Sting or South Riding FC, depending on what season we're playing, is going to sting.
I started playing with this team in 2009. It was so awkward at first, or maybe I was awkward. My teammates would likely snidely say that I still am. Granted, I am not their star player, but I love to play. My hilarious friend Jorge has told me I play with more heart than anyone. I can say with confidence that I have put my heart into this team and it will break in 3 weeks when I say goodbye.
The men I play with are my brothers. We win championships and then drink beer and dance. They have always made me feel like I am truly one of the guys. Honestly, I am usually more comfortable as one of the guys than one of the girls. There's never any bullshit drama. We have respect for each other and we always have fun. I am afraid of how emotional I may get on the night of my last game. I can't let my chick side show too much.
Every game I played offered the perfect outlet after a frustrating week as a SAHM. I got to kick and spit. I swore and sweated and felt tension disappear. It was the one thing that was just mine. It was the space in my life where I felt strong and tough. It was the activity where I always felt secure and more confident than anywhere else, even when I shot and hit the post!
The pride in my team will always be carried with me. Who knows if I'll stay in touch with them. I actually doubt it, knowing how dudes are. They will be in my thoughts each and every time I feel weak or insecure. Memories of them will make me laugh when I'm feeling sad. Whether or not it's true, I will always believe that they will have a hole in their roster that can never be filled by another girl.
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